What I Would Have Missed: Part 1

November 15, 2023

When a parent is given a life-limiting prenatal diagnosis for their baby, we can mistakenly focus on missing out on the pain and avoiding the grief. No matter what decision is made, grief is unavoidable, but the focus on what a parent will actually miss if they terminate their pregnancy can be life saving: life saving for the ongoing life of the parents, and life saving for those precious moments of life that their baby has left.

The question is not “how do we miss out on pain?” or “how do we avoid the grief?” Instead, the question we need to ask is “how can we go on loving our baby through the pain and the grief?” “What can we focus on that will give us hope to walk this out?”

Our precious Verity’s Village parents have answered the question “What would I have missed if I had not carried my baby with a prenatal diagnosis to term?” We hope their answers bless you, give you hope, and allow you to focus on those precious moments you DO have.

“I would have missed meeting my sweet son Philip. I would have missed holding him, and feeling the weight of his warm little body held in my arms. I would have missed the joy of looking into his gorgeous little eyes and hearing his precious little snorts … and I would have missed getting to see his dad hold him and enjoy all the same pleasures. I would have missed seeing him make it through his omphalocele surgery and be successfully extubated and learn to breathe all on his own. I would have missed getting to bring him home from the hospital and seeing all of his brothers and sisters hold him and love on him. We ALL would have missed getting to care for, love, and enjoy our precious Philip. Now we have pictures, videos, and cherished memories that we can share as a family and look back on one of the sweetest times of our life. I praise God for giving Philip to us and leading us to find hope for him from other Trisomy families from this group [From Diagnosis to Delivery] and especially Dr. Marty Mccaffrey … we were hopeless (from the MFM telling us he would likely miscarry or be stillborn if we didn’t terminate) until he told us not to give up and that he thought Philip had a good fighting chance to survive. So thankful we pursued interventions for our precious Philip. He lived 273 days in my womb and 65 days with us outside in the world. Now, when I am reunited with him in Heaven one day, I will have no regrets and know that we did right by him, that we loved him and gave him every chance we could.” – Lori E.

“I wouldn’t have my son! We were told over and over to terminate, that he’d die anyway. When we refused, they strongly recommend no interventions at birth. They grudgingly agreed to put in a breathing tube, if they could. My son just turned 1 and continues to make small progress. We are so grateful for his life and the joy he brings to everyone in our family.” – Cheryl L.

“This support group and the ministry of Verity’s Village wouldn’t exist … But on a personal level, I would have missed the utter joy and delight that it is to watch someone who wasn’t expected to live love the life she’s been given and grow and develop in her own special way.” – Beverly Jacobson

Don’t miss a second. The love parents develop for their baby in the womb does not just turn off when a diagnosis is received. At Verity’s Village, we support the families who have received a life-limiting diagnosis in utero. In addition to connecting parents with a community of other parents who are also dealing with a diagnosis, we send our parents a care package to aid them on their journey. Our heart is to nurture and encourage their hearts while they hold onto hope.

Follow Us for Part 2!

How to Join with Verity’s Village

➊ If you are a parent who has received a life limiting prenatal diagnosis for your baby, join our community group to connect with other parents who are also facing a diagnosis → https://www.facebook.com/groups/diagnosistodelivery

➋ If you want to find out more about our mission and what we do here at Verity’s Village, sign up for our e-mail list → https://veritysvillage.com/join-the-village/

➌ If you love what you see and want to partner with Verity’s Village to support families who have received a diagnosis as well as our future projects to educate the community on the value of these precious lives, become a monthly donor here → https://donate.veritysvillage.com/donate?amount=50&term=monthly

Brooke Shambley

Public Relations and Social Media for Verity’s Village